“YES I CAN.” QUIETING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS.
“His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy…”
Recognize these opening lyrics from the song “8 Mile,” by Eminem? If yes, then you know how the rest of the line goes. If not, all you need to know is that this was one of the most popular songs of the early 2000s from the movie “8 Mile”. In it, the main character ramps up for his greatest rap battle to date and though he’s afraid he’ll fail, he raps “do not miss your chance to blow, this opportunity comes once in a lifetime. You better lose yourself in the moment…”
What does this have to do with anything? Well, public speaking can be nerve wracking - that’s not only true, it’s incredibly common. Mark Twain said, “There are only two types of speakers in the world. The nervous and the liars.” We all have varying degrees of nerves. What separates, is the ability to get out of your own head, quiet negative thoughts, stand in your power, and lose yourself in the moment.
It doesn’t help to picture everyone naked. I’m not sure who came up with that suggestion, but I’m certain it wasn’t a woman. It’s three simple, powerful words: “Yes, I can.” That’s not just a mantra, it’s abject truth. You absolutely can, and you will. Yet, there seems to always be that nagging thought; that self doubt and inner critic that pulls from prior experiences and makes you believe it’s better to say less or say nothing at all.
This inner critic has robbed you of your voice before and left you thinking “I really wish I would’ve said…” or worse “I really shouldn’t have said…” Constructive self-evaluation is an important part of growth, but there’s a difference between that and negative self talk. You don’t have to keep letting that inner critic win. There are several, psychology-backed ways to quiet unconstructive thoughts. Here are a five, quick ways:
Be prepared. Take time to really know your content. Knowledge translates to confidence, then comfort. Remember, your audience is rooting for you.
Fortify yourself. Think about a time you accomplished something you didn’t think you could. Felt great, right? You did it once, you can do it again.
Create a playlist. Listen to a song that makes you feel good as part of your prep. My personal favorite is “The man” by Aloe Blacc.
Embrace silence. Take a moment of introspection to pray, meditate, or express gratitude. Expressing gratitude is strongly associated with greater happiness.
Put it in perspective. Whatever the situation, it’s only for a moment in time. You will live and life will go on. Make the best of it but don’t stress.
It takes practice, but remember whether you tell yourself you can or you can’t, you’re right. Having a positive mindset is key to being successful in anything you do. Future you will appreciate that.
Yours with grace,
Aïcha
